" Who Are You To Judge The Life I Live Before You Point Fingers Make Sure Your Hands Are Clean" - Bob Marley
"Fame Is Like Cigarettes With No Surgeon General Warning. It Destroys People. We Exploit ourselves and Eat our Own Ego's Til Theres Nothing Left." - Kanye West
I havent been on this blog in a Long time, I guess Because My life has been changing constantly. I havent really had the time to Sit down and think about whats going on. I always say, that every year, I get Better. and that Is true. Every year I grow as a person, I change. People dont like that sometimes, But i always think I change for the best. And today seems to be one of those days, where I realized i have changed from last summer, to this summer.
Last Summer, Going into Highschool I was living the GOOD life. Everyone knew who I was, I felt like I was the BADDEST bitch walking. I had a boyfriend who I care about deeply, and I had hoped would never hurt me. Yet, I hurt every guy that tried to tlk to me, and I led them on. I had a cocky " im better then you, I know it, you know it, everyone knows it, so get over it" attitude. I felt like i was UNtouchable. I came into highschool not caring if I made friends, because I already had like 1,000. Or so I thought. Basically, I was a total BITCH. I knew i was a bitch, and I thought it was a good thing. Wow, How things have changed.
Recently, Ive been Caught talking about certain people that have been acting "brand new". I claim that they are rude to me, and I basically "made them" I know thats a Cocky thing to say, but I dont know any other way to say it. Basically, It upsets me that certain people are rude to me, and try to put me down, in front of the people that I introduced them to, the "Hip" people, or whatever they are. I feel like "you wouldn't even know these people if it wasn't for me, you wouldn't have the 'fame' you have, if i was never in the picture, so why put ME down? " I guess it upsets me when people forget where they came from, when they forget the people that got them there.
Which is why this is titled a Look in the Mirror. Because now that I look in the mirror, I realize. The things I claim i Hate, I do. Last summer, I let people sice my head to the extreme. I let the little local fame that I have get the best of me. I forgot about certain people that were there all along, I thought i was too good for anyone.
I have Learned. Fame Destroys People. Up until today, Recently Ive Hated who I have become. I felt like, I lost all my friends, while gaining "fans". People are probably reading this like "who does this girl think she is, beyonce?" no. its nothing like that. This isnt meant to be anything Concieted. It's a New beginning.
a New Beginning, a new chapter in my life.
Ive realized that I no longer take people for granted. And I need to stop judging others, for things that I do too. I Need to stop pointing fingers. I currently feel as if I have no REAL friends, except for my two bestfriends. and Im fine with that, because i dont trust people anyways. But at the same time, I get reallyyy lonely. But I have to accept the fact that not everyone is going to be true. Im no longer holding grudges, and im accepting that I cannot change everything. But I can try.
Nobody is perfect, but Im working on being the best that I can be.
I really want that Prayer Tattooed on me ;; But I want it in a different spot, not my ribs. I just think this one is really beautiful.